Before we take a look at the worst of them, there are the likes of Rick Stein, who's recipe for 'Irish corned beef with cabbage' specifies that you "preferably use a top rib (of corned beef) but silverside is good too". God bless him. Like the people most likely to buy corned beef even know what a silverside is. How about a top side of Princes or a silverside of Fray Bentos, Rick? But otherwise, you wouldn't believe the nerve of the other corned beef recipes let alone the fact that 'cheese on toast' brought up 26 hits. I tried a number of combinations in the search from 'corned beef' and 'bacon sandwich' to 'cheese on toast' and 'baked beans' for a good hour and have selected three of the worst to showcase for you now.
In third position we have Brian Turner with 'cheese in bacon'. He has years of experience under his belt not to mention countless appearances on 'Ready Steady Cook'. I like cheese and I like bacon. Sounds promising if not a bit minimalist but then that's all the rage at the moment anyway and I'm sure there's more to it than just cheese and bacon...
Ingredients
100g/3½oz mature cheddar cheese, cut into 4 baton shapes
2 rashers bacon, stretched and cut in half length ways
...Oh, so just cheese and bacon then :(
Method
1. Wrap the cheese in the bacon.
2. Heat a frying pan and add the wraps to the pan. Fry for five minutes, turning occasionally, or until the bacon is cooked through.
3. Serve warm.
The recipe is so basic that he's had to bulk out the steps in the method by telling us to 'serve warm'. Why didn't you add an extra one at number 4 instructing people to 'insert in mouth' or 'put on plate'? But really, does that even count as a recipe? What if I were to suggest wrapping a Curly Wurly around some porridge?
Runner up in this showcase is Nick Nairn. And let me just say thanks to Nick for spending all of 30 seconds flicking through 'Cooking for Students' to come up with this recipe.
Ingredients
140g/5oz corned beef
½ can baked beans
110g/4oz puff pastry
plain flour, to dust
1 egg, beaten
Method
1. Preheat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas 7.
2. Mix the corned beef and baked beans together in a large bowl and then place into an ovenproof dish.
3. Roll the pastry out on a floured surface and cut into a large disc, big enough to cover the dish. Use the pastry to top the dish and then brush with egg wash.
4. Place in the oven and bake for 10 minutes, or until the pastry is golden and risen.
5. Remove from the oven and serve at once.
Perhaps Nick should take some advice from Brian on last step instructions. 'Serve at once' seems a bit threatening. Not that you would need to tell a student to eat their food 'at once'. They're probably just grateful that they aren't eating the beans from the tin.
But winner for worst recipe has to go to James Martin for his 'take' on sausage, beans and mash. I know they want to appeal to people with a range of cooking abilities but are there really people out there who don't know how to make this?!
Ingredients
8 sausages
30g/1oz butter
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp
clear honey
1 can baked beans
225g/8oz ready made mash
Method
1. Heat up a non-stick pan with the oil and butter.
2. Once the butter foams add the sausages. Gently cook on a medium heat, rolling round the pan to colour and cook through.
3. While cooking, warm the mash up in the oven or microwave. Heat the baked beans up in a pan.
4. Once the sausages are cooked add the honey to the pan. Heat through to give the sausages a nice glaze.
5. Place the mash onto the plate with the baked beans on the side and the sausages on the top.
Sorry, perhaps I misread that. Did he actually specify READY-MADE mash in the ingredients?! Were you in too much of a rush to instruct readers how to peel a potato and boil it? Oh wait, it's OK really because we're placing the sausages ON TOP of the mash like they do in those fancy restaurants and that outweighs the stigma of using ready-made mash. Thanks for sharing that version James! And if Brian Turner had written this, what would've he added to the final steps?
6. Buy ingredients from Iceland because that's all you can afford.
7. Eat in front of TV, watching Emmerdale like you always do, you fat slob.
